Whoa Z and x make the same sound
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
