the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
