Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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