Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
