I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
