Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
