my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
