Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
