not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
