Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
