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• (517): View more from Michigan

  He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards

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• (310): View more from California

  So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.

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• (323): View more from California

  but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"

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• (916): View more from California

  My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!

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