Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
