if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
