It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
