So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
