did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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