don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
