Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
