Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
