i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
