yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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