What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
