actually, I'm a sock model
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
