Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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