I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
