I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
