Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
