your parents love me but you hate me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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