yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
