At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
