my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's official drugs can't kill me
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
