I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
