Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
