Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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