I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
