I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
