You really coming over, don't trick.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
