i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
