it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
