I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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