Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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