new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
