If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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