pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
