She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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