TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
