Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
