i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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