Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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