Having a random hookup so left but love u
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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