Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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