She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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