so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
